my goodness.. what is wrong with me?

• why can't our bodies just naturally take care of itself?
• • why can't i just eat like adam and eve did.. strictly fruits and veggies.. all organic
    
    
    • it's actually a tad upsetting sometimes.. cause i don't know what a tomato is calorie wise, a banana, 1/2 cup shredded mozzarella.. ya know?
    • i can eat a whole yellow squash, fried in oil, with a chili dog on the side.. and then not eat again for 6 hours.
    • and i don't have a clue how much sugar/fat, etc i just ate
      
      
      • ya know?
      • it's aggravating
      • and that's only when i'm super hungry though
    
    
    ok.. this rarely happens.. but i actually feel like crying
    • i dont cry about myself very often
    • lol
    • *sigh
      • i'm generally a very happy, healthy person
      • i've never been a vain person.. so this feels very weird to me
      • and it kinda' feels wrong to feel this way
      • because i know i'm supposed to accept myself the way i am
      • and i do.. for the most part
      • man.. babies really do a lot to ya.. physically
      • and emotionally

well.. it's good to know i'm on the right track "diet" wise. i'm not ON a diet.. just changing the way I eat, and TRYING to be more physically active. now i just have to figure out how to balance out my calories, so i'm not under eating OR overeating. 
my goodness.. it was never this way in high school ;) lol. i'm definitely not a child anymore.

sore!

well, i'm sore from yesterday lol

i am actually sore on the SIDES of my abs. i dont think i've ever been sore in those spots! :D

i'm PRETTY SURE i just burnt off those 4 brownies ;)
HEY! they were Fiber One brownies! :)

just did some more running in place, crunches, squats, stretching, pushups, plank.. so a little something for my muscles to use ;)

what i do when i have no interruption..

9:53pm- 9:57 jogging in place

am i too energetic? lol.
i think energy is a think to be wanted, is it not? ;)

60 jumping jacks 9:59pm

50 squats 10:01pm

10 modified pushups 10:03 pm

plank 50 seconds 10:04-05 pm

15 variating leg lifts (abs tensed) 10:06pm

20 butterfly crunches 10:08pm

5 side plank trimming taps (holy crap that's hard!) 10:16 pm

3 reps whittling walk (yeah ab and bicep burner!) 10:18 pm

...
i just did 25 minutes of work out without thinking about it.
that felt good

:D

it was a good day :)

it started out bad. i had a HORRIBLE headache.. and i HAD to wake up early to get Jazmine on her bus at 8.
it took a few hours, but i finally got into sewing, etc, at 1:30 pm.
i finished up three customs, ready to ship.
and i got the precut fitteds for stock.. soakers sewn in, and edges serged. :) (this is including 1/2 hour of messing with a stupid serger thread that broke). by 5 pm, the kids were home, dinner time, etc.. i had all this done. :)

tomorrow i'm going to finish up these fitteds for stock, and cut out a few things.
AND if my oldest daughter is good during the day, she gets to come with me to shop for black fleece, 5t undershirts, and a "lunch box" for her snacks.

well.. workout stats
i'm still trying to get in ACTIVITY more than usual (hahahha).. notice the word.. trying.
i think i can label myself SLACKER!

i'm at:
21" thigh
37" hips
31" waist

so i went down 1" in my thighs, and up 1/2" each in my hips and waist. (oops?!)

so ALL IN ALL- since the start of this
i've lost 2.5" in my thighs, kept the same with my waist and lost 1" in my hips.

for some reason i've gone from 156 lbs to 160 lbs
i JUST weighed myself (stupid mistake.. NEVER weigh yourself at night after just eating/drinking) and i'm 163. YIPES!

but i've also been eating better and toning up.. so i'm wondering if the inches lost are being compensated with new lean muscle? (ie. the weight)
*shrugs

well IM HAPPY WITH IT
lost 2.5 inches AND A PANT SIZE i'm happy :D

my swimsuit :)

I haven't worn this suit since last year because I didn't think i looked good in it.

Well, since then, i've lost a couple inches. Had my husband take new photos of me in it today :) He was like "why didn't you wear THAT suit on vacation?!" lol. :)

It does look much better now!

*forgive the odd expression on my face.. not sure what that's about HAHA*


wanna know the funny thing about this suit?
the bottom is an XL, the top is a M! lol

i didn't think i was THAT pear shaped?! oh well.. if it fits, and looks good.. i'm game!

hmmm... i like this

this pic was taken friday while we were at Cedar Point with the two older kids.

my belly actually looks flatter than i thought it was.
and oddly enough, i'm getting more male interest lately too. lol.

older gentlemen are flirting with me at work HAHAHA
and the college guys (i live in a college town- 2 colleges) are giving me looks

....
gives me something to think about ;)

now if i could just be a little more active, i'm sure i could think of myself that way, too

my little sweetie

well, today Zoe is going back in diapers.

she's been in pullups for 2 months now.. and hasn't really done anything.

she was showing some signs of being ready.. but it's just not that time yet.

Jazmine was inSANEley HORRIBLE to train.
Alivia trained herself within 2 months of turning 3.

And Zoe doesn't turn 3 until Dec 12.

I'm sure, in due time, she'll get it. :)

i'm completely fine keeping her in fluff for a bit longer. this is the last time i get to use them..